Because of this, we thought it appropriate to inform our readers (especially dads) of the importance of fighting for custody. We don't mean that courtroom battles should be initiated simply to further a selfish agenda or get revenge against an ex. Instead, litigation should be used to protect relationships and a child's best interests.
]]> With that, we offer a few tips for fathers who are locked in disputes over custody and parenting time.It's okay to seek time with your kids - Some fathers may be ambivalent over seeking court ordered parenting time, out of fear that they will not be given a fair opportunity in court. Indeed, there is a certain degree of sexism in family courts, but this will continue if fathers do not seek parenting time.
Be specific about your time - Most fathers have been programmed into getting "whatever time they can get" with their kids. While it is fine to be flexible about parenting schedules, it is equally as important to set forth a specific schedule that will help you be a part of your child's life.
Don't worry about support - The notion of avoiding child support is out of your control. With that, focus on how you are a nurturing parent and how your influence is important to their development.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com, Top five things for dads in custody battles, May 23, 2013
]]>In the previous APA, only four persons had standing to file a claim to revoke an acknowledgment of parentage: 1) the mother of the child; 2) the man who signed the acknowledgment; 3) the child who is the subject of the acknowledgment; or 4) a prosecuting attorney. In the new RPA, a new person has been added to the list, and that is "an alleged father." This change is significant because it affords fathers who believe to be the biological father of a child standing to file paternity actions where they otherwise had none.
The person filing the claim still has to show by clear and convincing evidence that the man who signed the acknowledgement of parentage is not the biological father of the child. There are numerous bases listed in the APA (and the new RPA) in order to advance a claim to revoke an acknowledgment. Under the APA, the person also had to demonstrate that, considering the equities of the case, the revocation was proper. Comparatively, with the new RPA, the Court may refuse to enter an order setting aside the acknowledgment if the Court finds that the revocation would not be in the child's best interests.
The time limits to bring actions to set aside acknowledgments are significantly impacted by the enactment of the RPA. The RPA allows for actions of this type to be filed within one year of the enactment of the statute regardless of the age of the child or the date that the acknowledgment was signed. In the APA, actions could be pursued within 3 years of the birth of the child or 1 year after the signing of the acknowledgment of parentage. In other words, an alleged father who files a claim to revoke an acknowledgment of parentage under the new RPA can do so within 1 year of June 12, 2012 regardless of the age of the child or when the acknowledgment of parentage was signed. This alleged father would not have had standing at all under the APA, and he would have been precluded from pursuing an action if not filed within the prescribed time limits.
The change certainly opens the door for claims to be filed to revoke parentage for children that are old enough to have strong bonds and relationships with fathers who ultimately could be determined not to be biologically related to them. For example, a man can now claim to be the biological father of a 10-year old child who has known her father to be someone else her whole life so long as he files his action before June 12, 2013. At the very least, the filing of the action will likely invoke a paternity test involving the 10 year-old. The emotional and psychological impact that this type of dispute can have on a child and the child's family can be devastating.
The landscape of paternity actions will surely continue to evolve in the future. As June 12, 2013 approaches, the door will close on the ability of alleged fathers to frustrate acknowledgments for older children. However, the changes made by the RPA are significant ones that will affect families in the future.
]]>That's right, while summer in Michigan is what most people (and children) look forward to, it is precious time that parents often forget is meant for both mom and dad to create memories with (and for) their children. But how can this be done when your ex is nothing more than a prickly ogre?
]]> Essentially, preparation is the key. Most Michigan child custody orders have instructions on who is supposed to have parenting time during different times of the summer. What was normal during the school year changes when summer vacation comes around. As such, knowing what your order allows for is the first (and major) step to securing summer parenting time.If the order is vague regarding parenting time (i.e. only calls for reasonable and liberal parenting time) submit a plan in writing to the other parent. It is always easier to negotiate parenting time well in adance, so that the other parent has time to digest the request and raise any reasonable objection.
It is also helpful to have a calander that indicates when each parent has time, and it is prudent to anticipate that a parent may make a mistake (e.g. arriving late for an exchange, forgetting to return clohtes). With that said relying on the help of an experienced family mediator is the principal way of diffusing summer parenting time disputes.
Source: Huffington Post, How to survive the stress of coparenting with your ex, May 16, 2013
]]>Despite this progress, there are still some who believe that parents are better off following traditional norms. During an investing seminar, billionaire hedge fund manager Paul Tudor Jones made several comments suggesting that events like divorce and child birth are "focus killers" for women. The comments have led to considerable backlash.
]]> Jones was quoted as saying "as soon as that baby's lips touch that girl's bosom, forget it," while explaining why he believes why there will not be great female traders like himself. Essentially, child rearing, like divorce, take a woman's focus away from work tasks.The backlash that ensued erupted quickly in the blogosphere. Many were left wondering "what was he thinking?" A number of female traders, like Jamie Zimmerman, did not think Jones' comments accurately reflected how men and women reacted to parenting and whether it affected their work. Zimmerman noted that her male employees are equally as devoted to their families (and work) as her female employees.
Also, one report showed that hedge funds headed by women performed three times better last year compared to those headed by men. While the report did not indicate whether these women had children, it dispels the myth that women are distracted (to their detriment) by child-rearing.
It is not surprising that these thoughts sometimes find their way into the courtroom.
Source: ABC News.com, Billionaire backlash as hedge fund investor slams working moms, May 25, 2013
]]>While a root canal appointment may be more attractive than spending a couple hours next to your spouse, it is important to survive these times. The well-being of your child is important enough. As such, there are are several strategies that can help.
]]> Remember who you're supporting - While most divorced parents loathe being in the same room with their ex, graduations are not about them. It's about showing the appreciation for all the hard work their children have put in to get to this point. So their happiness should be the focal point.Don't react to extra celebrations - Some parents can make complete idiots of themselves celebrating their kids' acccomplishments. This is especially true of parents who were not around for the tough moments during the school year. With that said, do not get bothered by all the extra celebrations made by absent parents.
Rewards are not a competition - Some parents give extravagant gifts not only to garner affection, but to make the other parent look bad at the same time. Rewarding a child's accomplishments is not a competition. So if your ex shows up with a new car as a graduation gift (even after you had taken away the keys for not following the rules) resist the urge to punch them in the face.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com, How to survive parenting with your ex, May 16, 2013
]]>]]> Rutherford claims that the four-year legal battle has depleted the savings she amounted from Gossip Girl, and that she is currently living with a friend because she is unable to afford an apartment on her own.
The decision still baffles some legal analysts, especially given that both children (including Rutherford) are American citizens. And the fact that the father's visa was taken away shouldn't be an impetus for granting him primary custody.
Nevertheless, the story stands as a cautionary tale about how expensive child custody disputes in Michigan can be. Even Halle Berry reported spending nearly $2 million on her attempted move to France with her daughter Nala. While many of our readers are not celebrities with huge warchests for custody disputes, they can take solace in knowing that an experienced family can give them the advice and guidance to make the best use of their money.
If you have questions about child custody litigation and the potential costs involved an experienced family law attorney can help.
Source: BusinessInsider.com, Kelly Rutherford on the brink of bankruptcy after bitter custody fight, April 30, 2013
]]>In a recent and very interesting case, the Michigan Court of Appeals had to decide whether or not the courts in Michigan could grant a divorce in a "same-sex marriage." In this case, a man and a woman were legally married. During the marriage, the husband had a sex change operation. The wife became legally incapacitated, and the children filed for divorce on her behalf. The husband claimed that the court did not have authority to grant the divorce because, in Michigan, same-sex marriage, and therefore subsequent divorces, are not recognized.
The Court of Appeals upheld the trial court's decision, granting the divorce on the basis that the initial marital contract was between a man and a woman.
]]>Normally, a bride-to-be will give the ring back, out of respect or desire to not be burdened with a painful memento. However, some brides may be tempted to keep the ring, and even sell it (and keep the proceeds). This raises another question for prospective grooms: If the wedding is cancelled, can you get the ring back?
]]> Buffalo Bills linebacker Mario Williams faced this question after his fiancee, Erin Marzouki, broke off their engagement. Williams reportedly spent $785,000 on her ring, and wanted it back.Details are sketchy on whether she actually refused to give the ring back, but Williams filed a lawsuit to recover the 10-carat diamond ring. His lawsuit also sought the return of money and other gifts that he spent on her during their courtship.
Generally, engagement rings are seen as gifts given in anticipation of marriage. This means that if for some reason the marriage isn't entered into (because the parties mutually parted ways, or a person refused to marry) the ring could be legally recovered.
However, the person receiving the gifts could argue that they were simply "expressions of love" and not remotely related to marriage. Nevertheless, an engagement ring could legally be recovered if it is not returned.
Source: ABC News.com, Mario Williams signs $100M football contract but sues over $785K engagement ring, May 6, 2013
]]>Nevertheless, PAS is claimed in a number of child custody cases, but it can be very difficult to quantify. This post will identify a few signs of PAS and give some tips on how to handle it.
]]> Kids denying any positive past with the alienated parent - This sort of revisionist history reflect a custodial parent's campaign to denigrate the non-custodial parent.A parent blaming their current situation on the other parent - When one parent blames their financial or emotional issues solely on the other parent (and communicates this to the child) this can be very problematic.
Weak stories to support hatred against a parent - Flawed rationalizations to justify bad feelings against a parent. This is usually done by referencing one benign event to justify years of hatred towards another parent.
Children who are affected by parental alienation have often spent long stretches of time away from a parent. This may occur if the (absent) parent has spent time in jail, or has been deployed overseas. In these instances, reunification therapy may be helpful in breaking down the barriers established by the offending parent.
In essence, the child has to be "deprogrammed" in order to learn about the alienated parent.
If you have questions about parental alienation, an experienced family law attorney can help.
Source: Minnlawyer.com, In divorce, alienation a big risk, April 12, 2013
]]>Several years after the divorce, mother remarried, and she and her new husband moved to terminate the father's parental rights based on the fact that he had failed to visit, contact or communicate with the child in two years and was delinquent in his child support obligation. After a two-day hearing, the court found that the father had "substantially failed to provide support for" the child and "substantially failed to visit or communicate with" the child over the past two years. The court terminated the father's parental rights on these grounds.
The Court of Appeals reversed the trial court's ruling based on the fact that, despite the father's neglect, his rights could not be terminated because he had joint legal custody of the child. The Court seems to set forth a rather bright line rule-if parties share joint legal custody, regardless of the non-custodial parent's neglect or failure to support the child, that parent's parental rights cannot be terminated involuntarily.
]]>Indeed, some children are resilient and are bound to bounce back quickly, but there are certain steps divorcing parents can take protect kids from additional harm from divorce.
]]> Allow time for change - Children thrive on stability and predictability. Sudden changes may spark anxiety, so sudden announcements about family splits should be avoided.Avoid manipulation - Some parents (in an attempt to jockey for position in custody disputes) will show additional affection or shower kids with gifts to win their favor. This also may be confusing to children.
Get help - Parenting classes for divorcees are not only required, they offer additional tips and help for divorcing couples who have trouble communicating and co-parenting.
Avoid conflict - Constant bickering and fighting only heightens the tension with children. An amicable split not only spares their feelings, but it can help them understand how to resolve conflict.
Give constant reassurance - Kids commonly blame themselves for their parents' problems. Continued reassurance that things are not their fault is essential.
Of course, divorcing parties are bound to disagree on things that may not directly affect the children (i.e. dividing personal property, retirement accounts, real property). If they can separate their ills about each other from their feelings about children, the divorce could be made easier for the kids.
Source: Psychcentral.com, Helping children after divorce
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Take heed as to the date your Judgment of Divorce was entered because if you wait too long after its entry to enforce the terms of it, your rights to collect may be forever barred by the statute of limitations on judgments of divorce.
Generally speaking, the statute of limitations on the property portion of a judgment of divorce is 10 years from the date of the judgment's entry with the court. (Child support and spousal support arrearages are subject to tolling and therefore have a bigger window of enforcement.) If you seek to enforce a money obligation against your ex-spouse after the expiration of 10 years without having renewed your judgment at any point in between, you run a real risk of a judge barring your claim based on the statute of limitations.
Although this prohibition seems harsh and inequitable, it nevertheless has been enforced in divorce cases. In the Michigan Supreme Court case, Sullivan v Sullivan, 300 Mich 640; 2 NW2d 799, the trial court's bar of a wife's claim to foreclose on a lien based on the statute of limitations was upheld.
The Michigan Supreme Court case, Lothian v City of Detroit, 414 Mich 160; 324 NW2d 9 (1982) clearly articulates the legal implication of the expiration of the statute of limitations on claims, which applies to judgments of divorce just the same. In Lothian, a retired Detroit police officer brought an action against the City for payment of accrued retirement benefits long after the statute of limitations had expired, and the Supreme Court held that his claim was barred.
The lesson to take away is that, if your judgment provides any kind of money or property transfer from your ex-spouse, you should be careful not to forego enforcement of your rights under the judgment. Your best bet is to avail yourself as early as possible of all collection powers afforded to you by law, which include garnishment of bank accounts and wages, interception of tax refunds, and seizure of non-except property.
]]>While every family is different, a recent study conducted by researchers at Brigham Young University found that the relationship between step-parents and children can be strengthened by maintaining three principles. This post will describe them and how they contribute to a cohesive modern family.
]]> Parents must keep arguments to a minimum - It might sound easy, but limiting conflict helps children understand how to be tolerant, flexible and open to change. Of course, disputes will occur. But having a healthy way to resolve conflicts (and limiting arguments) is important in building step-parent relationships.Parents should encourage kids to share their frustrations - Getting used to a new authority figure is a process, and it is not without bumps in the road. Because of this, parents should be okay with their kids coming to them with gripes about their new step-parent. This can also open up a dialogue about boundaries and parenting styles that can ultimately lead to a happy home.
The step-parent and parent are on the same page - Parents may have differing parenting styles, but they must be in agreement on how to parent the children. Presenting a united front is the key to maintaining continuity. Also, children have a penchant for playing parents against each other in order to get their way.
Source: ScienceDaily.com, How stepdads can avoid missteps, April 8, 2013
]]>With unmarried couples, this dynamic could be just as troublesome. Cohabitation agreements act as prenups in that they set definitions for how property will be divided should the couple call it quits. Of course, some men and women may not want a cohabitation agreement, and insist that the relationship will last. Below are some classic personalities.
]]> Mr. or Ms. "Good enough for now" - This person is happy for now, but always has the signs that he (or she) is looking for the next big thing (or at least the next new love). Since the relationship could end at any time, a cohabitation agreement would be essential for an orderly departure.Mr. "Figuring out my career" - Not to be confused with Ms. "I'm trying to find myself", these people are not inherently into long term relationships, so living with them is bound to be a short-term experience. A cohabitation agreement would be helpful to avoid hard feelings and ambivalence that come with the end of a relationship.
Mr. or Ms. "Let's not define our relationship" - This person wants the security of a relationship with the freedom of being single. Either way, the two do not mix and this "relationship" is not likely to last. However, a cohabitation agreement can serve to establish a measure of support in the event one party wants to move on suddenly.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com, 10 types of men who won't marry you, March 18, 2013
]]>While it may have seemed satisfying, it was also a crime. As such, there are several "acts of revenge" that may seem tempting, but should not be tried.
]]> Sending deadly letters - One scorned ex sent a letter to her husband (who was allergic to peanuts) that was laced with peanut spray and sealed with peanut butter. The woman was charged with attempted murder.Destroying a car - Another wife broke all of the windows to her husband's car by firing gunshots into it and spray painting disparaging statements on it. She was charged with destroying private property.
Setting fires - Like the Angela Bassett reference, a man was charged with felony arson after setting his wife's wedding dress and snow skis on fire in a garbage can near his house.
Indeed, there are a number of things that can be done to exact revenge that may not lead to a criminal record (i.e. throwing clothes out on the lawn, holding garage sales, packing belongings and mailing them away). However, before acting out, it is prudent to discuss your actions with an attorney. Not only can you get reliable advice to help preserve your position in the divorce, you can avoid needing counsel for a criminal case.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com, Cheating stories - ex trashes car after owner is caught cheating, April 5, 2013
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